• Sit quietly for a moment after you calm your thoughts.

• Consider an important fight which you have not been able to resolve and may have run away from.

• Think of the benefits which you can achieve by resolving this issue through negotiation, rather than through fight or flight. Write them down.

• Now consider how you can still choose to look for the good in this situation and in your ‘opponent’ before you act or react again.

• Next, consider whether you have applied self-criticism before criticising your ‘opponent’.

• Explore whether the conflict might present an opportunity for mutual learning through each-one-teach-one.